Her Heart
by Anne Jaye
Summary: How I think Serena and Darien should've gotten back together. It's not TOO cliche...promise!


"Her Heart"  
by Anne Jaye, formerly Sailor Tampa  
  
Serena skipped happily down the bleached white sidewalk parallel to Crossroads Junior High. School was finally over for the day, and for some odd reason, she felt happier than she had in weeks. The last time she'd been truly happy, she recalled was...  
  
...Right before Darien had broken it off with her. She stopped abruptly, slowing her jubilant pace to a sluggish walk, her feet dragging heavily on the pavement. She began to ponder the question she had asked herself every day since then again:   
  
Why?   
  
Why, Darien? Why? she asked her herself over and over in her mind until her head pounded from the emotional stress it was creating. Any other day, Serena would've burst out into rivers of tears, curled up, and hid from the world. But not today. Today she decided she was going to be strong. 'Like Darien always was...' she mused sadly.' I just don't understand *why*...'  
  
"No!" she scolded herself immediately,coming to a stop. "None of this today!" she screamed to herself hysterically, triggering quite a few stares. After quickly looking around to see most of the pedestrians and passersby staring at her, she awkwardly started to run down the street. She'd done it again-embarrassed herself in front of a bunch of people and all because of Darien....the cause of most--no, ALL of her problems at the moment. She had to get away from these haunting thoughts. ' If I keep dwelling on them, the pain will never go away...'   
  
Serena immediately picked up her pace, pumping her legs harder and faster, as if running as fast as she could would make the painful thoughts of Darien seep from her mind. When at last she reached her house, she immediately went to her room and flopped down on her bed, drifting into an uneasy sleep.  
  
  
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Darien's eyes glazed over with the tormented, unshed tears of a man who had lost the love of his life...because of a dream. A damn dream. He swallowed hard and tried to bite back the stinging droplets which had already threatened to flow more than a few times today. ' Stop it Darien,' he thought, ' your doing this for her! '  
  
"For her..." her muttered bitterly, topping it off with a depressed laugh.   
  
"I'm breaking the heart of the only woman I'll ever love, and telling her I *don't* love her, and its only *because* I love her!" he shouted. He pounded his fist on a wall next to the arcade where he had been standing. out of sheer frustration. Frustration because he couldn't be with Serena...because all he wanted to do was keep her safe, and it was slowly, and by far more painful than any death, killing her. And because, when he'd finally found someone he loved, to cherish for always, she's ripped away from him like everything else he had ever had in his 19 years. Darien gritted his teeth angrily at his thoughts, leaning his forehead against the cool brick he was standing by. He began inhaling deeply, trying to calm himself.   
  
"Oh Serena...." he whispered brokenly, his voice a hoarse murmur of ragged emotion, "I love you...no matter what I say or do...no matter how many times I tell you that I don't...I do...I do..." One crystal tear slid down his face, splashing onto the asphalt below.  
  
**flashback**  
"Oh, hello Darien..." Serena said unsurely, staring down at her folded hands placed in front of her. Her flowing blonde hair seemed to droop as she spoke--like her heart. With every passing day, drooping and withering like a weak flower. She bit her lip, awaiting the coveted, "Serena I don't love you" speech she was sure would come. And it did.   
  
"Look Serena, you know how I feel about you." Darien echoed coldly. "I don't love you." he added quickly, giving away his wavering undertone of sadness. However, Serena didn't notice. She winced, as if she'd just been struck, and shut her eyes tightly, unable to hold back the tears that were already seeping from them. Darien held his breath and stiffened his body, trying.....trying *so* hard not to break down and give in to his love for this girl.   
  
Already picturing her heart wrenching expression, he added, "So just leave me alone, understand?"  
  
Serena just stood there, unmoving, but dying inside. She was only able to stand her ground for a few seconds before slowly lifting her head to look into his cruel eyes.   
  
"I understand..." she whispered softly, her tears coming down like fresh rain. Darien's hard stone gaze flickered briefly as he saw her. It was as if he could see her heart shattering within, because of his words. He wanted to cry. Just break down and cry for her. Cry for himself. Cry for what his life had become...because of a decision to keep his beloved safe.   
  
She managed to smile weakly before turning around and walking away. He couldn't stop her from walking away just then, nor could he halt the single heart wrenching tear that escaped his eye the second she turned away.  
  
**END of FLASHBACK**  
  
Hiccups and sobs mingled together, echoing off the dark walls in Serena's bedroom. She had awaken yet again in the middle of the night, thinking of Darien. She clutched the star locket tighter to her chest as she laid there crying, like she had been for the past hour. Serena blearily glanced at her alarm clock.  
  
"1:04.." she mumbled sadly, sniffling some more. "Darien, why don't you love me..." She turned her head to the opposite side of her pillow, quickly dozing off in the process.   
  
"Why..." she whispered again, only to be jolted awake by the sound of a fierce roar that could only mean one thing--a youma. She cursed silently into the black air before boldly throwing back her blanket and snatching her brooch from her dresser. Carefully placing the star locket on her pillow, she leaped out the window to answer the call of duty.  
  
_____________________________   
  
Sailor Moon skidded to an abrupt halt at the entrance of Fairview Park.   
  
"Wh-Where are the others?" she asked herself quietly in between trying to catch her breath. Seeing none of the other scouts around, she hardened her eyes with bravery and promptly lifted her wrist to her lips.   
  
"Scouts, I need your help--" She stopped suddenly as she realized she was talking to herself. ' I left my communicator at home! ' she thought frantically. Her heartbeat sped up with fear. A short gasp caught in her throat as she started to back away slowly. Her eyes widened with realization.  
  
"I'm all alone."   
  
Her quivering eyes caught hold of another's. Bright red eyes. The youma had spotted her. It snarled ferociously as it inched towards her, saliva dripping from its sharp teeth.  
  
_____________________________   
  
Darien slept peacefully in his small bed for the first time in months. The nightmare hadn't invaded him all night. He comfortably turned on his side, facing the moonlight that shone in on him through his window.  
  
  
_____________________________   
  
  
Sailor Moon gasped for oxygen. She was backed against a tree in the center of the park, the youma only a few feet from her quaking body. As it moved closer, she froze from terror. Her limbs ceased their uncontrollable shaking and her breathing halted to short, ragged puffs.  
  
"D-Darien!" she squeaked out almost inaudibly, barely hearing it herself.  
  
_____________________________   
  
  
In an apartment a few blocks away, Darien stirred in his sleep, but didn't awaken.  
  
_____________________________   
  
  
The youma stopped inches away from Sailor Moon's face. Suddenly, it materialized into a different, more familiar form--Emerald. Sailor Moon gasped, her eyes widening with a mixture of fear and shock. An insane, sadistic grin curled Emerald's lips as she stared down at Sailor Moon's cowering form.  
' Darien! Darien! ' she thought frantically, not knowing what else could save her.  
  
"I've finally figured it out Sailor Moon," Emerald started in a low voice, taking a step forward. "I'm not as ignorant as you may think. You see," In one fluent movement, Emerald reached behind her back and pulled out a gun, resting it on Sailor Moon's forehead, just above her nose. She let out a terrified gasp. "Whenever I use *my* powers, it never works. So I figure, I'll use a human made power." she finished maliciously, her words dripping with hatred. She cocked the gun slowly, causing Sailor Moon to choke on her breath. Her life flashed before her eyes in a dreamy haze...a life with Darien. It was all she could see, and all she wanted to see...and then the vision was gone, her eyes focusing on Emerald and the firearm that would take her life.   
  
Emerald pressed the gun harder to Sailor Moon's forehead, her face convulsing with rage, and then to insane happiness. "Now I'll have surely secured a place in my dear Diamond's heart. Sayonara, bitch." she spat.   
  
Sailor Moon's surroundings seem to slow suddenly, every action turning to super slow motion. Gathering her last ounce of courage, she screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping the one person she was calling for would hear.  
  
"DARIEN!!!!!!"  
_____________________________   
  
  
In a split second, Darien heard her cry, bolted out of bed, transformed and was already on his way to his love's aid.  
  
_____________________________   
  
  
"Shut-up!" Emerald screamed viciously, snaking her long finger into the firing mechanism and around the trigger. ' This is it....I'm going to die. ' Sailor Moon thought hopelessly, her eyes going blank.  
  
_____________________________   
  
Tuxedo Mask knew where he was going. Somehow he knew exactly where Serena was. He skidded around the corner and into Fairview Park, only to see his love at gunpoint,about to be shot and killed.   
  
"Nooo!!!" Tuxedo Mask screamed, emotion cracking his voice as he ran at full speed towards Sailor Moon. Emerald laughed wickedly and began to pull the trigger. In the second before the bullet came hurtling out of the barrel, Tuxedo Mask pulled his eternal love out of harm's way, both of them rolling a few feet to safety.  
  
"D-Darien?" Sailor Moon mumbled blankly, void of all her emotions at the moment. ' I feel him...I know I feel him... ' But before he could answer, he was up on his feet again, struggling to get the gun from Emerald. It had seemed like hours had gone by to Serena. She was still sitting there, on the cool grass, a little ways from the tree she had recently been pinned to. Her brained racked itself to try and remember what had happened, shock still heavy on her mind. A tiny gasp escaped her as she slowly looked up and saw Tuxedo Mask wrestling with Emerald for something...a small silver object.... She squinted in the pale moonlight, fixing her eyes to it. ' Wait a second, that's a...a...a gun! ' she realized with terror gripping her once again.   
  
Tuxedo Mask abruptly side kicked Emerald's trembling hand, causing the gun to go sailing into the air briefly, before it slammed into the ground with a sharp clank, causing it to fire. Emerald screamed in pain as the bullet ripped through her thin arm. With final words of spite intended for Sailor Moon, she disappeared in a green mist,leaving the park deathly quiet, with only the sounds of the two tormented lovers' breathing. Tuxedo Mask fell on his knees, exhausted from the fight and lack of sleep, but most of all, the emotional turmoil he had just experienced. Sailor Moon--his Serena had almost been murdered. He shut his eyes as tightly as humanly possible, trying to block the horrible thought of what might have happened out of his mind. A small hiccup resonated off the deserted benches in the park, and he looked up quickly. There was Sailor Moon, kneeling a few feet in front of him, a blank expression on her flushed face. Her breathing was slow and deep, almost as if she was trying to keep her own heart beating. Tuxedo Mask stared at her a long while, fighting down the pounding thoughts echoing throughout his mind, telling him to go to her.   
  
He held back.  
  
"Sailor Moon?' he asked quietly, unsure of what else *to* do. She didn't blink....didn't move. Only a small tear ran its familiar course down her face.  
  
"Are..." Tuxedo Mask started to say when she finally--slowly--turned her head to look at him, the lovely features Darien cherished, contorting to fear and shock. He only had time to gasp before she flung herself at him with a horrid sob, trembling with fright. He swallowed hard as he gazed down at his love convulsing with violent sobs and holding him so tightly....as if the world was ending this very minute. Tuxedo Mask reveled in the feeling of holding her for the first time in months. But he knew it couldn't last. ' No, I can't do this.....I can't be selfish. ' he thought passionately, lifting his gloved hands to rest on her shoulders. He gently began to push her away, fighting his own tears.   
  
She felt him pushing her away slowly, and it terrified her even more, she realized. Even more than having a gun pointed to her head, more than staring death in the face.  
  
"No!" she screamed, gripping her arms around his neck tighter. She pressed one flushed cheek into the crevice of his neck, her tears moistening the collar of his stiff white shirt.  
  
"Please don't!" she screamed again, trembling violently. "Please..." she whispered with a pitiful sob. "I'm so scared..." The whole situation was affecting Serena in the worst way. The realization that she was alone to fight the youma...almost being killed...but most of all, Darien not loving her.   
  
Tuxedo Mask cried quietly behind the protection of his domino mask. He tightly wrapped his arms around Sailor Moon, gently rocking her. He let his tears shed willingly, glad to get the searing emotion out of his heavy heart. Self-control was something Darien prided himself on having. He had had no weaknesses, he believed, but he knew now he was wrong. It was her. She, and she alone could provoke such feelings from the dark pit of his soul. The facade of indifference fell from his body, and he finally submitted to the callings of his heart.  
  
"I'm here, Serena. I'm here." he whispered in her ear tearfully. With those two words, her shaking halted, and only a few stray tears escaped from beneath her lashes. Slowly, her transformation dissolved, leaving her in the pink pajamas she'd worn to bed. The night air was bitterly cold, but surely not as cold as what Serena anticipated would come from Tuxedo Mask's lips. She winced as her mind played a preview of another "I don't love you" speech. He noticed her body suddenly tensing, and immediately wrapped his cape around her, trying to console her. ' I'm such a fool. 'he thought. 'I stay away from her because of a damn dream to keep her safe...and she's almost killed. Danger--its everywhere! And if my being with her puts her in danger, then being without her puts her in even more.' Tuxedo Mask shut his eyes tightly,concentrating all he had on his next thought. He wanted it to reach whatever person--whatever "thing" put Serena and himself through this hell.' I don't care who you are, what you are,or why your doing this. All I care about is her. Serena. My only love. And I have one thing to say to you, whoever or whatever you are: Go to hell. '  
  
_____________________________   
  
And in that moment, the king of the future city, Crystal Tokyo, smiled.  
_____________________________   
  
"Serena?" Tuxedo asked seriously, squeezing her shoulder slightly. She let out a strained sob as she tilted her head to look at him, the man she loved--the only man she would ever love--and prepared herself for what she knew was coming. Her tired head still rested on his shoulder, her arms still draped around his neck. He cleared his throat calmly, although he couldn't stop the insane beating of his own heart. Or rather, the heart he shared...with one girl.  
  
"Serena, I - I -" he stuttered, noticing the heart breaking look reflected in her eyes. She shut them tightly, so much that it hurt, telling herself to stay strong no matter what.  
  
"I - I love you." he finished, grasping her small hand in his own, kissing it softly. Serena's eyes flew open, unsureness sparkling through both blue orbs. He bit his lip harshly, trying desperately to hold back his tears of joy, and lifted Serena's hand to his shadowed face. He slowly squeezed her fingers around the side of his stiff white mask, and allowed her to pull it off, revealing tears of raw and undying love streaming from his eyes.  
  
"I love you." he repeated again so she could see he was telling the truth.  
  
"Oh Darien!" she cried with joy, hugging him again. "I love you too." He smiled with relief and pure happiness. Everything was all right...everything was going to be fine....  
  
"Serena...my darling meatball head..." Tuxedo Mask murmured, pulling away slightly to gaze into her face. "I can't live without you anymore...I never could."   
  
Confusion mingled with the happiness glittering in Serena's eyes as Tuxedo Mask, now detransforming into Darien, spoke.   
  
"I've always loved you...I've never stopped," he continued, tilting her chin up. "And I *never* will."  
  
She quietly detransformed herself, staring intently in Darien's midnight eyes as he held her face. Another sob bubbled within her tight chest, causing her to look away suddenly.   
  
"Serena?" Darien asked, perplexed.   
  
The attack pounced on him suddenly and without warning. Small fists and blonde hair flailing wildly, and a pain filled little voice.  
  
"Why did you do this to me!?" she bellowed in anguish, pounding her fists into his shoulders and chest, but still refusing to be separated from his arms.  
  
Darien could only watch numbly as she continued her assault on him. He didn't care that her hands were bruising him, only that he had possibly done some damage that was irreversible.  
  
"I was trying to protect you!" he shouted soggily. Tears still flowed from his normally calm eyes, now desperate and frightened.  
  
"*Protect* me?!" she wheezed, her voice now scratchy and hollow from shouting. Serena abruptly shoved him away from her, no longer wanting for the warmth of his embrace, and stood.  
"You put me through *hell* and ripped out my heart because you were trying to protect me."  
  
Darien watched her silently, standing up himself. He towered over her when he stood close enough, often causing her blush and offer her lips to his for a gentle kiss. But tonight, it seemed that her presence towered over his, pointing out his stupidity and shaming him to his very essence.  
  
"I had a dream," he started shakily, unsure if she would be open to listening to his reasoning or just shove him backwards again. "We were getting married..."  
  
Serena's eyes softened and blurred slightly at those words. She too, had dreamt of their wedding day. She had the dream almost every night, always basking in the glow of love that Darien radiated upon her. Her heart thumped a bit harder as it willed her ears to listen to what he had to say.  
  
"And right when we are about to kiss--" he stopped suddenly, catching a sob before it escaped. "You're killed."  
  
A soft gasp betrayed Serena's lips while she digested the information. He had been dreaming of her death--and his dream had nearly come true.  
  
Darien raised shaky hands to touch her small rounded cheeks, fearing she would run away as soon as she heard the rest. It was kind of ludicrous, he thought now, that he would let a voice in a dream control his heart. But Darien knew the last time this had happened, he was lucky to have listened.* If a dream could bring him his one true love, surely it could take her away.  
  
His hands brushed her face, and her knees wobbled at the touch. "A voice told me that if I came near you, you would die. I tried to ignore it at first, but it became more insistent every time I saw you. I didn't know what else to do. How could I live if I knew you couldn't?" Darien cried brokenly, moving his face closer to hers.  
  
She mutely stared at his wild, fearful blue eyes, wondering what else to say. He had just told her everything she'd been wanting to know since that day he had broken up with her. And now that she knew, she couldn't be angry anymore. The fierce emotion that had bled from her heart just moments before felt foreign now, as she read into his eyes.  
  
Pain. Loneliness. Desperation. Passion.  
  
And Love, intense and blinding.  
  
"I'm sorry." he whispered, meaning it as much as he had when he said that he loved her.  
  
Serena's body grew weak as she felt the weight of his words upon her. She had wanted to hear it so badly all those weeks, when all she had clung to was the feeling that maybe Darien *did* still love her, to keep her going. He was sorry for his mistake, and he had meant it with all his heart.  
  
She wrapped her arms around his waist and collapsed into him, letting all the emotions of the night wash over her. She cried quietly into his shirt, wondering vaguely if this meant what she hoped it did.   
  
Darien's body greedily fed off the warmth of the girl in his arms, only daring to hope she would be understanding and want him back. He had to take this opportunity to make her feel like she had when they had been blissfully together that one week after the Doom Tree had vanished. That first day had been one to remember for the both of them. It was the rebirth of Darien's unrequited love for Serena Tsukino, the delightful child that had captured his heart. They had stolen away from the prying eyes of the scouts that day, spending every moment in each other's arms, and sharing many passionate kisses. He recalled that at the end of their day together, he'd mustered up enough courage to ask her to be his... "I want to be yours and only yours, Serena Tsukino...If you'll have me." he had asked. He remembered how her eyes lit up brightly, and how her smile had dazzled him. "Yes I will...If you'll have *me*." she had responded. He wanted to recapture that feeling once again--of starting over--and having Serena know that he loved her without a doubt.  
  
He quelled the rest of his tears momentarily, opening his mouth to ask her the question burning in his heart.  
  
"Serena Tsukino," he murmured, gazing down into her face, "I'm yours and only yours...if you'll take me back."  
  
Another pairing of words Serena had wanted to hear for weeks. She was truly ready to have him back, and have his love for good.  
  
"Of course I will, Darien." she replied smiling. "I can't stand to be without you anymore..."  
  
Darien drank in her words like a thirsty man, and was relieved beyond comprehension at her forgiveness. He thanked God that he had been blessed with a second chance.  
  
They embraced tightly under the quivering moonlight for a few moments longer, before Serena remembered she had school in the morning and it was already quite late as it was.  
  
"Will you take me home, Darien?" she asked him quietly, nuzzling his warm neck. He reached up to stroke her golden hair before responding.  
  
"Of course, Meatball head."   
  
She smiled at the nickname turned endearment and felt his clothing change in front of her. He was Tuxedo Mask again, ready to sweep her away into the night.  
  
_________________________________  
  
He landed agiley on her windowsill, careful not to make any noises that would wake her family this late. She had left her window open when she'd gone to fight the youma hours ago. He skillfully crawled into her dimly lit room, cradling her in his arms. Stiding slowly to her bedside, he set her down gently on the mattress, and kneeled at her side. Her arms were still wrapped tightly around his neck as he studied her face. Suddenly, the soft twinkling of music caught his attention. He glanced over to the side of her face and saw the star locket open and glowing, like her beautiful face.  
  
"I missed you Darien." Serena whispered.  
  
He quickly gazed back into her glittering eyes and let out a shuddering breath. His soul felt whole again--shining with a light so bright he felt like it could be seen by anyone passing by. He couldn't comprehend how he had lived those weeks without her, now. He had been dead inside, and Serena had brought him back to life.  
  
"I think I missed you more..." he lamented, running gloved fingers through her bangs.  
  
"Serena, there's something I've been meaning to do." he said seriously, eyeing her lips.  
  
He slowly lowered his chest onto hers, dipping his mouth to capture hers in a kiss. The kiss was slow, sweet, and filled with the passion Darien had been suppressing for weeks. He even ventured to use his tongue, something he had not done yet with his beloved, but was too raw and hungry to refrain. He withdrew from her and stood up, smoothly jumping to her windowsill again.  
  
She drowsily turned her head and watched the black silhouette's cape flutter in the wind. His kiss had floored her and left her weak and tired, only looking forward to waking the next morning and seeing his face again.  
  
"Never forget, Serena, " he started, voice thick with emotion.  
  
"I love you."  
  
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* This is in reference to Darien's dream of the Moon Princess in BSSM.  
  
If this story is sounding familiar to anyone, it's because it was an old story of mine that I have redone. Also, I used to go by the author name, 'Sailor Tampa', and have submitted this story to sites under that name.  
  
Sailor Moon and all respective likenesses and characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi.  
  



End file.
